For many years, I blamed "MEN" for the way that I was being mistreated. The lies, manipulation, verbal and physical abuse, I was cheated on, I've had the one I love steal from me and break more than just my heart. He broke my ability to trust, to hope and believe. It wasn't until much later after much reflection and maturing that I was finally able to accept accountability for "MY PART" in my plight. Despite their wrong doing, the fact of the matter is that all men are not the same. The only real common denominator in all of those relationships was me. So I had to figure out how "I" was contributing to my own self-destruction so that I could aid myself in my own ressurection! You see, the simple truth is that people can only do "WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO." With this new understanding I set forth in a new endeavor toward the reconstruction of my life. And as I was re-inventing myself, learned that I also have the ability to steer and control my own destiny.
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I never dreamed as a child that I would one day become an author. I began writing at the suggestion of my Pastor who had explained to me that doing so would aid me in sorting out my own thoughts and feelings. It allowed me to exorcise some old demons and finally let go of anger and hurt that I actually did not even realize I was still holding onto. So what started out as an exercise evolved into my calling. And now I share what I have learned from it all with those who need help with clarity.
I entitled my book "Players Vs the Unconventional Woman" because I wanted to illustrate that regardless of how you or the other party feels, if you are in a relationship that harms you mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually or financially, it's going to take some unconventional strength and ingenuity to gather your wits, fight against your own emotions and leave. The basis of any relationship has to be rooted in RESPECT, COMMON COURTESY AND HONESTY. Anything less only fosters the building blocks for a dysfunctional relationship.
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I know now that there is no such thing as "SEARCHING FOR MR. RIGHT." Love has it's own agenda. When it's finally YOUR TIME TO LOVE, everything will fall into place all on it's own. Your responsibility is to make sure that when that opportunity does finally arrive, that you are the best version of "YOU" that you can be. Be the kind of person that you want to see yourself with. Don't just have the goals, dreams and ambitions, pursue them. Work hard towards your endeavors and reward yourself frequently for a good job well done. Treat yourself with the love, respect and dignity that you know you deserve and expect from a mate. You will find that when you are LIVING THESE PRINCIPALS, you will begin to attract people of like mind. So become the love you know deserve, and watch that love find it's way straight back to you. Cheers! - Danielle Brand