Embracing the Change: My Journey Through Perimenopause and Finding Peace Within

Danielle Brand
Oct 19
6 min read

For the last year, my body has been going through one of the most transformative stages of womanhood, perimenopause. It crept in quietly at first, a few headaches here, some fatigue there. But before long, the signs became impossible to ignore - severe migraines, body aches, nausea, cramps, heavier periods, brain fog, anxiety, and emotional swings that seemed to come out of nowhere.

I used to feel like my body wasn't even mine anymore, like I was living in a shell that no longer responded the way it used to. There were days I'd wake up with such intense migraines that even the simplest tasks felt heavy. And the mood swings, the highs and lows that made me question my own emotions, also became part of my daily thing. But what I've learned is this, perimenopause is not the end, it's a realisation that change is coming.

What Is Perimenopause?

Perimenopause is the transitional stage before menopause, the time when your body gradually reduces its production of estrogen and progesterone, the two hormones that regulate your menstrual cycle. It can begin anywhere from your late 30s to your late 40s, lasting an average of 4 to 8 years. Menopause itself is officially diagnosed after 12 consecutive months without a period. During this time, hormone levels fluctuate unpredictably, leading to a wide range of symptoms that can affect the mind, body, and spirit..

Common Symptoms of Perimenopause

While every woman's experience is unique, some of the most common symptoms include:

Irregular or heavier periods
Hot flashes and night sweats
Migraines and headaches
Breast tenderness or bloating
Sleep disturbances
Swollen eyelids, from swollen oil glands
Oily skin
Hair breakage/hair loss
Mood swings, anxiety, or depression
Brain fog and memory issues
Weight gain, especially around the abdomen
Joint pain and body aches
Decreased libido or vaginal dryness
Irritability

For me, it's been the headaches, nausea, cramping, and emotional ups and downs that have been the hardest. Some days I feel completely fine, and others I feel like I'm fighting a storm inside my body.

The Most Challenging Part

The most depressing part of perimenopause isn't just the physical discomfort is the feeling of loss of control. That sense that your body is changing faster than your mind can accept. The anxiety can peak out of nowhere, and suddenly you're worrying about things that never bothered you before. There's also a deep emotional reflection that comes with this stage, and you start asking yourself, Who am I now? What do I need? What do I want to let go of?

But these questions, though uncomfortable, are also powerful catalysts for growth.

How I'm Healing and Supporting My Body

Over time, I've learned that I can't stop this change, but I can support my body through it.

Here's what's been helping me:

Supplements: Evening primrose oil, Black Seed Oil, Magnesium, Vitamin D and Calcium, herbal teas, Moringa Seeds and Soursop juice.
Well-being rituals: Meditation, yoga, spa days, monthly massages, and grounding (earthing).
Movement: Staying active with skating, running, horse riding and pole fitness activities that make me feel alive and release endorphins.
Emotional health: Speaking openly about how I feel, setting boundaries, and removing negative energies from my life.
Self-love: Taking time to honour my mental health and create peace in my environment.
Staying hydrated: Drinking nothing but water, except for the cheeky alcoholic drink on special occasions.
Healthy Eating: Healthy diet: Salads, vegetables, fruit, lots of protein foods, less processed foods, less salt, less fatty foods

If you don't put time into your well-being and mental health, you will break down, and I know that because I've been close to the edge many times.

Understanding HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)

Another important conversation around perimenopause and menopause is HRT- Hormone Replacement Therapy.

HRT works by replacing the hormones (mainly estrogen and progesterone) that the body begins to produce less of during perimenopause and menopause. This can help relieve symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, mood changes, and sleep problems.

There are different forms of HRT – tablets, patches, gels, creams, and even sprays, and the right type depends on your health history and your body's needs.

Advantages of HRT:

Can significantly reduce hot flashes, night sweats, and sleep disturbances.
Helps improve mood and energy levels.
Protects against bone loss and reduces the risk of osteoporosis.
May help maintain skin elasticity and vaginal health.

Disadvantages and Risks:

It may cause side effects like bloating, breast tenderness, or nausea in some women.
It's not suitable for everyone particularly those with a history of certain cancers, blood clots, or liver problems.
There's ongoing research about the long- term risks, including a small increase in the risk of breast cancer or stroke, depending on the type and duration of treatment.

My doctor has recommended that I try HRT, but I've personally chosen to decline, and that's my preference. I've heard many stories from women who've used it successfully, and I'm not saying it's wrong or that it wouldn't help me. It simply doesn't feel right for me at this stage. I've chosen to allow my body to go through this change naturally, using herbal and holistic remedies, clean nutrition, movement, and mindfulness. I'm a very active and health- conscious person, and I believe in supporting my body's balance through natural means. That being said, there are many options out there, and what's most important is to do what feels right for you. Every woman's journey is different. For some, HRT can be life- changing; for others, natural and holistic approaches bring balance and peace.

The Beauty in the Change

There are unexpected advantages to this transition too.

You become more aware of who you are and what you truly want.
You start letting go of people or energies that don't serve your peace..
You begin to prioritise you, your joy, your rest, your dreams.

For me, being single during this time has been a blessing. It's allowed me to focus on healing, self-discovery, and self-love. It's not that I don't want love or don't deserve it, but right now, my energy is sacred. Until I can fully love myself, I cannot fully love and support anyone else. If that means I am being selfish, then so be it.

This chapter of my life is about reclaiming peace, not seeking approval.

The Science of Change: What's Happening in the Body

During perimenopause, estrogen levels fluctuate wildly - sometimes spiking, sometimes dropping, which affects nearly every system in the body:

Brain: Estrogen influences serotonin and dopamine, so low levels can lead to anxiety, low mood, and brain fog.
Bones and joints: Declining estrogen contributes to stiffness, aches, and even early arthritis.
Reproductive system: Hormonal shifts cause irregular ovulation and heavier or skipped periods..
Metabolism: Many women notice slower metabolism and changes in body composition.

Recent data suggests that over 80% of women experience at least one significant symptom during perimenopause, and 1 in 4 report that symptoms severely impact daily life.

Finding Balance

Now, I'm embracing life more fully — skating, running, laughing, resting, creating. I'm aligning my thoughts with my actions, my heart with my habits. This journey isn't easy, but it's empowering. It teaches patience, resilience, and self-love in the most raw and honest way.

So if you're reading this and going through perimenopause, know that you are not alone. You are changing, but you are also awakening. You are stronger than you realise..