top of page
Featured Posts

Love and Relationships: A Journey to Self-Discovery and True Connection


For years, I searched for love in the wrong places, repeatedly meeting the wrong men, and accepting the bare minimum. I didn’t know my worth, so I settled for less than I deserved. Over time, through reflection and personal growth, I learned to see myself for who I truly am—a beautiful, worthy, and strong individual, inside and out. I found love, not in someone else, but in myself. This journey of self-love has been life changing, and it’s what inspired me to write some of the books I've published, and also mentor single mothers.


Embracing Self-Worth

Understanding your worth is the foundation of healthy love and relationships. For years, I endured situations where I accepted disrespect and allowed myself to be manipulated because I didn’t understand my own value. I thought that giving endlessly to others, even when it drained me, was love. I thought being patient with the wrong people was honorable.

But love isn’t about tolerating pain or settling for less. Love is about mutual respect, trust, and a shared vision.

Today, I know my worth, and I will never settle for anything less than I deserve. I’ve learned to be patient with myself and others, empathetic to their struggles, and understanding of their flaws, but I also know when to walk away.


What Love Means to Me

For me, love is a deep emotional connection built on trust and commitment. It means being there for each other, through life’s highs and lows, and sharing long-term dreams and goals. It’s about mutual respect, care, and unconditional support. It's a meaningful bond that goes beyond surface-level affection. It's where both partners feel secure and confident in one another’s intentions.

The qualities I value most in a partner are kindness, empathy, ambition, drive, loyalty, honesty, and positivity. I want someone who matches my energy, someone who makes me laugh as much as I make them laugh.

My primary love languages are physical touch and quality time, but I believe the smallest acts of kindness often mean the most.

Physical intimacy is important to me in a relationship, but it doesn’t always have to be sexual. Sometimes, a simple touch, a warm hug, or sitting in comfortable silence speaks volumes.


Lessons from the Past

My past relationships have been my greatest teachers. I’ve learned that clear communication and setting boundaries are essential for a healthy partnership. I’ve also learned to recognise when things aren’t working and to walk away sooner rather than trying to force a connection.

One thing I’ve had to unlearn is the tendency to give “husband treatment” before a relationship is even established. I’ve also realised that I can’t expect everyone to be as emotionally open as I am. Patience and understanding are key.

My dealbreakers in a relationship are disrespect, dishonesty, incompatible values, and hurtful behaviour. These are non-negotiable because I know I deserve more.


A Vision for the Future

I visualise my future relationship as a peaceful, loving partnership built on mutual respect and shared goals. I dream of traveling to new destinations with my partner, trying new hobbies together, and supporting each other’s growth. I imagine growing old together, sharing laughter, and appreciating the little moments that make life special.

More than anything, I want to feel safe, loved, treasured, and protected. I want to build a life with someone who understands me and values me as much as I value them. These may seem like ambitious dreams to some, but to me, they are the basics of a healthy, fulfilling relationship.


The Challenges of Modern Dating

When I speak to other women my age, I often hear the same frustrations about dating; many people aren’t serious, carry unresolved trauma, or lack emotional intelligence. Some are afraid to get hurt, so they play games, lie, or cheat. Why can’t people simply express their feelings instead of complicating things? Many are indecisive about what they want or are caught up in their own egos.

Being single has given me time to reflect on what I truly want and don’t want in a relationship. I’ve been in long-term relationships, short-term relationships, and situationships where I didn’t know where I stood. These experiences were mentally draining and taught me the importance of clarity and mutual understanding.

I now know that I’m a Queen who deserves the world. My independence and strong mindset may intimidate some men, but I’m not afraid to be submissive to the right partner—the one who sees my worth and matches my energy.


Join the Conversation

As part of this journey, I’ve created a multiple-choice questionnaire to help you reflect on your own views about love and relationships. The questionnaire consists of 20 questions—16 multiple-choice and 4 open-ended—designed to explore what love means to you, your relationship goals, and your future vision.

I’ve answered these questions myself and was surprised by some of my responses. It’s a valuable exercise for anyone looking to better understand their needs, desires, and boundaries in a relationship.

There are no right or wrong answers—it’s about what’s true to you. I encourage you to take the time to reflect and participate. You might be surprised at what you discover about yourself.


Final Thoughts

Finding love starts with finding yourself. When you know your worth, you’ll attract the kind of love that respects and honours you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Be patient, be kind to yourself, and trust that the right person will come along when the time is right.

For now, focus on becoming the best version of yourself and loving the person you see in the mirror every day. That’s where true love begins.



Love and Relationships: Multiple Choice Questionnaire



Comments


Recent Posts
Archive
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square
  • Wix Facebook page
bottom of page