10 ways you can be a great parent.
There is nothing greater than being a parent and loving your child/children unconditionally, but if you can build a strong relationship which consists of pure respect both ways, you will be on the right road to having a successful family unit. Just make sure that your children know the bounderies.
Teach your children about self-esteem, self-love and self confidence. It's important that they know what they are worth and that they have values from an early age, because if they don't it may cause them to be easily mislead, or manipulated later on in life.
You don’t have to give up your dreams, goals and interests once you become a mother or father. It’s important that you find time to do what you love doing, whether it being you having time out with friends, going to the gym, reading, writing, getting your hair done, or going to a spa. Find a way to incorporate those into your daily routine, because a happy parent creates happy children.
Listen to your children. If your child has a problem or just wants to talk about his or her day at school, be there to hear what he/she has to say. Never be too busy working in your job to the point that they feel that they can not come to you. It's important that you have good communication with your child, because without that you will come across many misunderstandings. You shouldn't just be there to dictate and enforce rules. You should be able to show an interest in all that they do. Little things such as listening to them read, or sitting down and being creative with them can be fun also.
Be Patient. Raising children is definitely hard work and it can be very demanding pretty much every day. Sometimes you don't know if you are coming or going and a simply day is not long enough to get everything done. Children create mess, they make vast amounts of noise, they have tantrums and you may at some point lose your patience with them once in a while, but it's allowed. Remember you're only human. The best way I know how to deal with a stressful day is to take a deep breath and count to 10. Walk away from whatever is going on and come back to it with a more positive mind.
Be a good role model. If your children see you doing positive things it will urge them to follow. If you want your children to be well-behaved, then you should be displaying that same behaviour in order for your children to adopt it. Children have a tendency to become what they see. If you have more than one child spend time with each child individually and try to divide your time equally. This will avoid each sibling saying you prefer one over the other and if each child understands that you are devoting some of your time to all of them, the interaction with each and everyone of them will contribute to the love they have once they are all together.
Help your children to feel loved and secure even if that means always being consistent with what you do with them. Sometimes the best thing you can give your children is love and affection. As small as they may seem, a simply hug, a gentle touch on their hand, or a kiss on the forehead can let your children know how much you really care about them. A little encouragement goes a very long way, especially if a child looks for your approval all the time. Showing them how much you appreciate them can boost their confidence. It gives them a sense of well being. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what happens, but never rule out appropriate forms of discipline. A child can be loved unconditionally, but spoiling a child and having no discipline put in force can be detrimental.
Every child needs both parents whether they are together or apart. If you have a partner in your life, then it's important that your children think of you as a team as two people who will both say "yes" or "no" to the same things. If children think that their mother will always say yes and their father will always say no, then they will definitely play you off against each other. They'll come to their own conclusion and think that one parent is easier to manipulate. This then brings me to the parenting issues. Never argue in front of your child as this could contribute towards them being emotionally unstable.
If you are no longer with a partner, or you have an absent father or mother. Try your best to give your child everything he or she needs. Bring them around positive male/female role models in your family and let them be influenced through them. Never slate the other parent infront of your child for the fact that they are not around. Do not be bitter either because a child can pick up resentment easily. Yes, the father/mother may be absent, yes he/she could be doing more and yes he/she doesn’t pay child support, but remember these are the men/women you chose to lay down with. So before you make judgement look at yourself and question how you can deal with the situation better, rather than complain, or allow your children to become hateful also. The only ones that will suffer are the children. The best way to deal with any situation like this is to just to get on with it. It is what it is. You'll only make the situation harder if you keep dwelling on the issue. If an ex has moved on and has another child with someone else, it is not your business. What is your business is his/her relationship with your child. They're not obligated to do anything for you, because you are no longer together. As long as they are supporting their child financially and playing an active role in the child's life that's the main thing. And if they are not playing an active role leave them to it. Complaining is wasted breath you could putting into your child. As long as you leave a door open for them to be part of your child's life no one can point fingers and blame you. The only time you should draw the line is when contact isn't consistent and your child's emotions are being played with because they are in and out of their lives, then it's for you to decide what's best for your child. Everyone deserves a chance and if people mess up more than twice you need to nip it in bud. But do not be one of those parents who stops a father/mother who really wants to be in their children's lives, because there are not many out there. You will know if he/she is one, because nomatter what you do or say, he/she will find every way to get access, either through the courts or a contact centre. Give your child the chance to have two parents. It isn't about what you feel, it's about them.
Encourage your children to be responsible and by this I mean, being responsible for the way they carry themselves, for they way they treat others and for their actions. Also, help them to live a healthy lifestyle. This means by eating healthy, getting lots of exercise which involves lots of sports activities and having a passion for something they enjoy. Help them to find something they really like, even if it means them trying out many different things at your expense.
Don't live your life through your children, which means you must not make decisions for them all the time because they must learn how to live with the consequences from the choices they make.
Identify all the mistakes that your parents made whilst you were growing up as a child and make every effort to avoid passing them on to your children. As much as your parents may have done a good job, there is always something you can attempt to do even better.
Being a parent starts from the moment of conception and for some just after the initally birth of a child. Not eveyone is maternal/paternal but the majority of people who have kids feel a certain instinct towards parenting. It's an instinct not even I as as mother can explain. People can tell you what to do regarding your child, but not every method or guideline will be for you. Although it's vital that you gain some knowledge and become aware in order to make it easier on yourself. To be honest none of us are going to be perfect parents, but what is important is that we try our best for our children. There is no lesson on parenting and in fairness it boils down to trial and error as not every child is the same. Just always remember, never doubt what you are capable of.
Have you got what it takes to be a great parent?