When it's time to move on
I hear so many complaints from females these days about how men are not coming correct and not wanting to commit to them. I for one, have been somewhat part of that percentage of women who have complained in the past.
I guess, we all want that perfect man and perfect relationship, so we always seem to put in the extra work when dating, therefore after a couple months in the wrong relationship we feel deflated. I have been hurt, angry and resentful many a time. You'd think I'd have learned a valuable lesson the hard way, but being a kind hearted person, my kindness often gets taken for a weakness and due to this, I have been taken for a fool. I have allowed myself to be strung along, manipulated and cheated on. I have lost my self-worth and given way too much energy to relationships that needed to be knocked on the head. Today, we have so many angry women out there wanting revenge, because certain men in their lives have overstepped the mark. So many women are wanting ex partners to feel the pain they felt when they were being mistreated.
But, why do any of us feel we have the power to make a man learn? If a man doesn't want you, he doesn't want you.
We cannot force a man to love us, nor can we make him treat us how we deserve to me treated. We can identify our needs, show him what we expect and if he doesn't step up, just keep it moving. Why wait days, months years to have our hearts broken, when in the majority of cases, the signs were there in the beginning? This morning, I had to reason with a good friend about a situation she is in. She has dated a man for almost 6 months and at this point, she still doesn't know where she stands. On occasions, this man has made her feel good, but at other times he has spoken down to her like she is nobody. She is now talking to someone else who treats her with the ultimate respect, but she still continues to entertain the original man's messages and calls, when she has no intention of seeing him again. But, still hasn't told him they are finished,
I asked her why? Her response was, "Because I want him to feel pain and know what he has lost." I then asked her why she felt the need to stoop to her ex's level? Why did she want to absorb all that negativity energy and waste her time dwelling on the past? Why is she acting like a child, when she is a grown woman who wants men to see her as one?
Her best revenge is to keep it moving, continue to look amazing and that alone is a silent killer. No words, no physical action. Just pure positive vibes and forgiveness. I told her to forgive him for his behaviour and focus on herself, not him. Whilst creating an enemy, she was losing out on possibly gaining a potential man. I believe karma has it's way of catching certain individuals in the arse and I personally refuse to give any more of my time to a person who does not deserve my time. Those that have hurt us, do not know better. They do what they do, because we allow them to do so. As women, we play a part in how we are treated by men. We must take responsibility for our own actions and accept that we too are at fault, for allowing certain behaviours in a relationship. Taking a man back after he is cheated several times, shows you have forgotten your worth. Letting a man talk down to you, clearly shows he is disrespectful and you're allowing him to speak to you in that manner. A man will only do so, if you made it acceptable in the beginning. So women, please stop blaming men and visualise the man you want in your life and don't accept anything less. Now, I make men know what I expect from them from the get go, because I'm not taking nonsense from anyone anymore. If you don't like it, keep it moving. If you don't value me as a Queen, or your potential wife, I'm not entertaining you as a King or my potential husband. We must stop giving certain men husband treatment, when they can't even give us a girlfriend title. I have accepted every failed relationship I have had. I have looked at my contribution to each and everyone of them not working.
I have put so much love into myself that I can now see what's not good for me.
Some find it hard to accept being single, but its definitely much healthier than being in a toxic relationship that drains all the beauty from you.
It's time to give the right man the chance to enter your life. How will he fight for you, if you're wasting your time fighting for a waste man?
Remember, you are a beautiful woman, a queen, who deserves the world and more. Know your worth. Know what you stand for. Never stop believing in yourself and your future.
We have all made mistakes, so none of us are perfect. It's never too late to get what you want from life.
Trust in the process. Trust in yourself and know that you are worthy of being happy, in or out of a relationship.
Forgive yourself for your wrong doings and what you've accepted. Also, forgive the men for how they treated you and accept it was part of the process, to meeting the man that's supposed to be in your life.