What It Means to Have a 21-Year-Old Son

Having a 21-year-old son doesn't seem real. There’s a moment every parent reaches when they look at their child and realise: He’s not a kid anymore. He’s a grown man. He makes his own decisions. He’s carving his own path. And as much as I knew this day would come, nothing quite prepares you for what it actually feels like.

The Advantages: Watching Him Become Himself

At 21, my son is figuring out who he is—on his own terms. He’s no longer asking what he should do with his life; he’s doing it. Whether it’s working, playing football, or chasing something that lights him up, I get to witness the unfolding of a man who is grounded in his own identity.

We talk about real things now—travelling, life, the future. He challenges me sometimes, and I welcome it. I’m proud of the person he’s become. Not perfect, but thoughtful. Not always certain, but driven. There’s pride in watching him take responsibility, handle challenges, and navigate life with his own compass.

The Disadvantages: Letting Go Is Real

Lets be honest. Letting go is hard. It’s the reality I live with every day. He’s out of the house. He makes choices I don’t control. Sometimes I want to step in and guide, but I don’t get to anymore—not like before.

There are moments of worry, of doubt, of biting my tongue when every part in my body wants to speak up. But this stage isn’t about control; it’s about trust. And that’s both freeing and terrifying.

Life Expectations: A New Chapter Has Started

Life isn’t "about to begin" for him. It has begun. He’s managing bills, making long-term decisions, learning the hard way what works and what doesn’t. There are no training wheels anymore. This is his life, and he’s living it.

He’s shaping his future right now—with every job he takes, every choice he makes, every challenge he faces. My role? Support. Encouragement. Respecting that he has to walk some of this alone.

Girlfriends, Love, and Commitment

Yes, there is a girlfriend. She’s a real part of his life—someone he cares about deeply. I’ve met her. She’s kind, smart, independent. I see why he loves her.

Their relationship is serious. They’re building something meaningful together, and I’ve had to adjust to the fact that someone else now holds a huge part of his heart. It’s no longer just “family and friends”—this is a partnership. And while it was strange at first, I’ve come to admire how they show up for each other.

I Might Be a Grandma One Day… But Not Just Yet

It’s crossed my mind more than once. One day, I will be a grandma. That’s not a vague possibility anymore—it’s a real milestone that could come sooner than I feel ready for.

The idea both excites and overwhelms me. I can picture it: little shoes by the door, bedtime stories, toys in the living room. But right now? I’m still adjusting to being the parent of a man. I’m not emotionally—or mentally—ready to become someone’s “Nana” or “Grandma” yet. I’ll get there. But not today.

What Life Means for Him Now

This is his time. His real, messy, beautiful, adult life. He’s wants to own a home, build values, good habits, and a legacy. He’s learning what it means to love, to lose, to persevere, to grow. He’s becoming the man he’s going to be for the rest of his life.

And as for me—I’m learning too. I’m learning what it means to be the parent of an adult. To hold space instead of holding hands. To offer guidance without giving direction. To let go, but never stop loving.

Having a 21-year-old son is not a chapter ending—it’s a new one beginning. And in many ways, it’s the most rewarding one yet.