Unapologetically Strong: Thriving as a Black Single Mother and Embracing Change

Redefining Strength, Success, and Motherhood

Being a Black single mother isn’t just about survival—it’s about thriving, redefining what strength looks like, and creating a future for our children that is filled with love, opportunities, and purpose.

Strength is not pretending we have it all figured out; it’s acknowledging our struggles, pushing forward despite them, and showing up for our children every single day. It means breaking stereotypes, refusing to be boxed in, and proving—through action—that we are more than just statistics.

For me, raising two sons has been a journey filled with challenges, triumphs, and countless lessons.

My 20 year old son faced challenges during adolescence, and I often worried about his choices and the influence of his friendship circles, but I’ve come to realise that he had to go through certain experiences to find his own path.

Today, I’m incredibly proud that he successfully completed his education, works full-time, and is living his best life—travelling, making memories, and embracing the future with confidence.

My youngest is now 16, and keeping him on the right path in a world that often stacks the odds against young Black boys is no small task. Young Black boys often face harmful stereotypes that overshadow their achievements, forcing them to study and work harder to prove themselves, yet they remain disproportionately targeted by police, judged by the colour of their skin rather than their character or background.

The Challenges of Raising Sons as a Single Mother

As much as I try to be both mum and dad, I don’t dismiss the fact that I cannot teach my 16 year old son how to be a man. I can instill values, discipline, and love, but there are certain things that only a strong male role model can provide.

The Importance of Father Figures: Boys need positive male influences—whether it’s a father, uncle, coach, mentor, or community leader. Representation matters, and having a strong male presence helps shape their understanding of responsibility, leadership, and manhood.
Keeping My Teen on the Right Path: The teenage years are tricky, and with so many external influences, I constantly worry about the decisions my son is making. I have to be firm, set boundaries, and guide him without suffocating him. It’s a delicate balance.
Providing Life Experiences & Opportunities: From a young age, I made it a priority to expose my children to different experiences—travel, sports, education, and community programs. I wanted them to see beyond their immediate surroundings and understand that the world is full of possibilities. But let’s be real—it hasn’t been smooth sailing.

Pushing Forward Through the Struggles

There have been days when I’ve felt completely drained—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Days when I’ve wanted to give up, when the weight of being everything for my children felt too heavy to carry.

But every time I reach that breaking point, I remind myself why I started.

My sons are watching me.
I am breaking generational cycles.
I am building a legacy of strength, resilience, and success.

The Art of Transformation: Embracing Change

Change is necessary—whether in our careers, relationships, or mindset. Recognising when it’s time to level up is the first step toward a better future.

Career Growth: Am I fulfilled? Am I providing the best I can for my boys? If not, I push myself to explore new opportunities and skillsets.
Letting Go of What No Longer Serves Me: That includes toxic relationships, negative environments, and self-doubt.
Developing a Strong Mindset: The fear of failure is real, but I refuse to let it hold me back. My children deserve to see a mother who chases her dreams unapologetically.

Steps to Keep Moving Forward

Set Clear Goals: Whether personal, professional, or parental, having a plan helps keep me focused.
Take Action: Small steps lead to big changes. Every move forward counts.
Surround Myself with the Right People: A strong support system makes all the difference.
Practice Self-Care: I can’t pour from an empty cup, so I remind myself to rest, reflect, and recharge.

Final Thoughts: Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Being a Black single mother raising two sons is not easy, but it is worth every sacrifice. I am doing more than just raising children—I am raising future men, leaders, and changemakers.

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present. It’s about teaching them strength, love, and resilience through my actions. It’s about showing them that no matter how tough things get, we do not give up.

This journey is far from over, but I know one thing for sure—I am built for this.