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Anyone can have a long lasting relationship.

Being in a relationship for some people is about not having the single status and having someone to fulfil their sexual needs. It's usually about having the need to feel wanted and loved, but the fact is relationships based on sex only end up with people losing interest when they realise that they have nothing in common beyond the bedroom. For others being in a relationship is about the connection. It’s about being emotionally close to your partner and being able to let your guard down. It’s also about being able to accept and share your partner's feelings, but most of all it’s about being there when he/she require support.

A relationship consists of being with someone who makes you happy and once you’ve found someone good, you’ll know it. It’s not always that someone special will just surprisingly walk into your life. Sometimes we fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most random time and in many cases it’s those who we may have built a friendship with first why love blossoms.

A good relationship is when someone accepts your past, your flaws, knows about all your mistakes, weaknesses and still thinks you’re amazing. Someone who is able to support your present and encourage your plans for the future is definitely worth keeping. When you meet men or women who are afraid of being alone and rely on others to complete them, this simply shows that they are incapable of being responsible for their own happiness. You may be saying to yourself that this is not you and you would never allow this to happen, but many of us are guilty of this at some point in our lives, including myself. I once allowed my vunerability to get the better of me and I hoped that by having a man in my life would fufill me, but it didn't.

In order to be in a healthy relationship you have to be at peace with yourself. You have to learn to love yourself before you can even attempt to focus your attention on someone else. As the saying goes, fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. You don’t need anyone to complete you because it’s far better that they accept you completely.

Love is not about having the best sex with someone you met at a nightclub who you never even knew. It’s not about lying in the same bed night after night with a person who is meant to be your partner and you don’t talk. It’s not about creating life with someone you don't even care about. Love is not about having someone in your life that is physically, emotional abusive towards you because someone that really loves you would never hurt you. If a man/woman says they love you, observe careful because their actions will speak louder than their words.

Relationships that have lasted for a long period of time have had their ups and downs but they have had two people involved who have wanted it to work. Good relationships don’t need false promises, false hope or terms and conditions. They just require two people to be trustworthy and loyal. Communication, honesty and respect are also essential aspects of a successful relationship. You have to be able to compromise and be able to share your life with someone who actually appreciates you and understands your journey and if they don’t do any, then you have to question why you are with them.

Never let past relationships ruin new and promising relationships, because as the saying goes ‘If you carry bricks from your past, you will end up building the same house.’ What you will find is that history keeps repeating itself and you will always meet the same kind of man/woman which will no doubt cause you to make the same mistakes.

Many of us have been subjected to partners who have been unfaithful in the past. We have been lied to, cheated on, abused both emotional and physically and because of this we have painted every potential partner with the same stripe. We have put up a wall so high, that others cannot get in. But remember that not all men/women are the same and everyone deserves a chance. Just know what you want and how much you are willing to allow. It’s your choice. Know in your heart that love is not when someone constantly puts you down or disrespects you. It's not about being controlled to the point where you lose your self-worth. It’s about growing together but at the same time still having your own dreams and goals. Men love a strong independent woman who can hold her ground, who knows what she wants and also knows how to love from her heart. Do not let anyone change who you are to become what they need.

Each relationship we experience over time either nurtures us in more ways than one, or weakens us, but it’s the choice you make on whether or not to allow it to break you.

Some people are not in the position to love because of past relationships still being a ghost in the back of their minds and if you find someone who is not willing to commit, just let them go. Why allow yourself to constantly be emotionally drained? Because what you’ll find is that you carry anger inside because of it.

If you have underlying issues from previous relationships, your main priority should be to overcome your fears and find a way to deal with your insecurities. You can either do this by talking to a counsellor, or by trying to pin point the pattern that always occurs. In order to change the cycle, you have to face reality and be responsible for those changes. You have to be able to accept that you allowed yourself to be treated by those who came into your life.. Focus on change, the way you present yourself, change the type of woman/man you always seem to go for, invest your time into doing positive things to draw positive people, but most of all change the circle of people you are around. Be the person who you'd want in your life and never settle for less than you deserve. Know your worth.

If you are already in a relationship which is not going the way you would like it to, or you believe that there are problems that need to be addressed. Sit down and discuss the issues with the person whom you are in the relationship with. If you want your relationship to last, then it’s best that you do not involve anyone else. Relationships last longer when no one knows your business. All partnerships have problems and if the relationship is worth saving, work on it. Everyone has faults, some more than others, but just remember no one is perfect. There is no love without forgiveness and you cannot love without forgiving. If it’s the case that you are hoping to change your existing partner, forget it. Do not attempt to change anyone as it will only backfire on you. People change because they want to change, so no matter what you say or do, or how much you moan, you will never get the response you want. You either accept who they are, which is the person you met, or you close the chapter and move on.

I have realised over the years that you should never have to hold on to a good man, if he is that. When you’re a great woman, he will be too busy concentrating on holding on to you.

Have you found the love within yourself in order to love someone else with all your heart?

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