The Difference Between Making Love And Having Sex.
As much as people have so much to say about the sex and love, it is an topic many people find difficult to talk about. It may be due to the fact that it's an confidential experience that some rather keep private, or the main fact that it doesn't need to be discussed. But for me, the whole sexual experience amongst people, in general, lacks communication why so many people are disappointed by the final outcome once they become involved. Being intimate with someone is about opening yourself to them, connecting sexually, physically and emotionally and if you open yourself to the wrong person, you have not only abused yourself, but given away the most precious part of your body.
Before sex, not many people think about the consequences (like STDs or pregnancy) and because of this there are many unwanted pregnancies which leads to abortion, or a vast amount of single mothers.
When you open yourself to someone, it should be because you are comfortable with them and you know for sure that this person is in it because they see a future with you. When you abuse your body on so many levels by having sex with large amounts of people, you lose yourself and also self-respect, which then leads to my question. How on earth can you expect anyone to respect you, when you can't respect yourself?
Many women get confused by sex especially when a man takes an interest in them sexually. This is even before they've gotten to know him. If a man doesnt take you out, comes round to your house late at night, eats out your food and doesn't spend a penny on you, then this is not love. If he gives it to you good in the bedroom, but that's all he is good for, this certainly isn't love, or not even the beginning of love. For him it's just about the act of sex when he can get it. Allowing such behaviour will only cause you hurt or despair and to be fair, you can only blame yourself.
When a man loves a woman, he will make love to her in a way she can't even explain. He will embrace her, touch her and kiss her in a way that makes her feet tingle to the point she knows that it's love. She will feel like she is the most beautiful thing in the world. He will wine and dine her, hold her hand, or not be afraid to kiss her in public. He will try his upmost to spend as much time with her and willingling want to get to know her more than he already does. But most of all, he will give all of himself to her just to show her how he feels. Everyone wants love but not everyone finds it. Interestingly enough, when you love or are in love, you know exactly what it is. But in saying that, never sell yourself out because you haven't found love. Because if you carry yourself in a decent and respectful manner, a woman who considers herself a queen, will infact attract her King.
When some people have sex who are not in a relationship, it's usually because there's
an attraction. They have a connection and enjoy the benefits of not being commited to one another. Although that connection may just be the attributes of lust. Some use it as a form of releasing tension and in fufilling this act, it of course brings about an orgasm and if you can't even achieve that whilst having sex, then the whole act is pointless. Those people who are in it just for the sex learn to switch themselves off emotionally and the majority of the time they are able to detach themselves in a way where commitment is not even an option. I would imagine, that due to the fact that they have no other interest but sex, the parties involved are then able to work out each others sexual needs and desires as they go along.
For those in a relationship having sex, is about being together as one, mind, body and soul. Of course, making love involves having sex. But having sex, even amazing sex, is not necessarily making love. For example you drink a glass of white wine, but it just isn't the same as drinking a glass of champagne.
The reality of it is, there is a difference between Sex and Love making. Making love involves emotions/feelings and these emotions produce strong affections and for some an obsession for others. It’s driven by chemistry racing around your brain and body.
Sex is an act, which can be both physical and pleasurable for both parties involved, but it shouldn't be based on what you can get from it, it should be on how it will
make you feel afterwards, especially if you are looking for something much more grounded. You just have to know exactly which one of those you want and what you are prepared to except.
"In real love, your attitudes matter. Your actions matter. The choices you make matter. Being responsible matters. Having fun matters. Pleasure matters. Real love brings two strangers together for the dance of a lifetime. It gives you the opportunity to co-create the lives you desire and leads to deep personal growth and fulfillment like no other relationship offers.
In real love, each partner takes great care to satisfy the other’s needs and regards the other as his or her most valued prize; held in high esteem and with gratitude. There is a great sense of security and freedom in this form of love which comes with time. Statistically, lasting love has a greater chance in marriage than in cohabitation. Perhaps, it’s for the single notion of commitment." - Psych Central
Either way just be careful, because as much as you are having fun in either act, there are consequences which can be detrimental to you in the long run.