Why is being single such a stigma in society today?
Today there are many questions and misconceptions regarding the single status. Years ago, being single used to mean that nobody wanted you and you were left on the shelf. But today for me, being single is about having time to yourself, to love yourself more in order for someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved. It’s about bettering your life and building new friendships, being around different types of positive people who bring purpose into your life.
Being single doesn't have to mean being lonely. It doesn’t mean you are weak or do not know how to love. It means you are strong enough to wait for what you deserve. When you're single, you have more time to do a variety of things, like spend time with your children/family, socialise, go to the gym, go on holiday, do things you enjoy and what life has to offer. Not saying that you cannot do these things once in a relationship. But you have more time on your hands that is not devoted to someone else.
For me, being single is a lifestyle choice. There are many reasons why I choose to stay single, but there is nothing to say that I won’t meet someone special one day. For the time being, I get to spend time with my children, focus on the things I enjoy and build a stable surrounding for my future. I am learning more about myself as time goes on and because of that I am able to reflect on past relationships that went wrong, which hopefully will prevent the same things from happening again. In a way I am not single, because I am in a long distance relationship with my soul mate who lives in my future. Saying this, you have to stay optimistic because whether you're in a relationship or not, you want to be happy and if you're not happy single, you will never be happy in a relationship. You have to have your own life first then be able to share it with someone else.
The common mistake women make and many of us have made it, is that we allow the loneliness of being single to drive us into the arms of the wrong people. Our vulnerability is so obvious it shines from a mile and it allows certain men to take advantage. What a woman must do is learn to be a woman who does not need a man, but be a woman a man needs in his life.
There are advantages and disadvantages to being single just as much as there are advantages and disadvantages to being married or being in a long term relationship. Being single you are not obligated to answer to anyone, you make your own decisions solely on what you want. You have time to work hard without feeling guilty about not giving enough time to your other half and it’s only you, you have to trust. The advantages of being in a relationship is that you have support, companionship, you’re loved and it’s nice to be able to share life’s joys with someone you care about and love, but sometimes you can lose your freedom. From this I mean you become so dependable on the other half, that it comes to a point that you cannot do nothing without them, which then causes the problem of not giving each other time to have your own space. This doesnt happen in all circumstances, but in many relationships people still remain very socialable individuals and do not lose their personalities just because of a significant other half.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been many times when I have sat alone at night after my children have gone to bed and I’ve looked around thinking? Will it always be like this? But I work on my writing, pick up the phone and talk to a good friend who makes me smile. I do appreciate the silence once the kids are asleep and I do enjoy my own company especially when I’ve had a long day at work. But I often wonder what it be like to have someone here to share all my joys with. I am happy with my life and I am blessed to have all that I have, but I then remind myself that my time will come because I know I am an amazing person and there is nothing wrong with knowing what I’m worth. Being single should allow me to have the most wonderful times of my life! It is an important part of the journey of life, and an especially important part of the journey towards marriage. So that is why I stay positive.
Not everyone likes being single, in fact being single has become more of an allergic reaction for some. But why? Isn’t having time to yourself, the best time to love yourself more and prepare yourself for that special someone to come?
For those of you who have found being on your own a problem let me ask you these questions.
How do feel not having someone in your life to share it with? Are your friends relationships making you feel like you are missing out? Are you lonely, looking for love but can’t find it? Or are you single because you choose to be?
If you are looking for love and are having problems finding it, why not look inside yourself?
If your friends relationships are constantly in your face, feel happy for them. Don't feel jealous, don't hate on their happiness. Know that everyone goes through different stages at different times and if you remain positive, your time will come. You are not missing out, you are simply on your journey to where they are.
If you are single and choose to be, don't make others make you feel bad for making that choice. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into being with someone. There is nothing worse than being with someone just for the sake of it especially when the relationship is wrong for you.
If you are feeling like you will never have anyone to share your life with, take a look in the mirror and know that you are the most beautiful, unique individual and one day you will be blessed with the most amazing person in your life. Someone who knows your true quality will not let you slip away. Know that God is in the process of writing your love story. Just because you are single, don't just sit back and let the rest of your life pass you by. Embrace life and see where it leads you and hopefully it will be to a place you never dreamed of.
I hear females moaning all the time about not being able to find the perfect man. No man is perfect, but you can definitely be clear on the fact that there are nearly Mr Right's out there. You cannot go out looking for a diamond when infact you are just a stone. If you want a soul mate, you need to know what your soul actually is.
If every step you take in life is full of kindness, you will be rewarded with love and goodness. Constantly tell yourself that life is good and no matter what obstacles you face as a single person, just know that they will soon be behind you. Just have faith.