How I have remained positive as a mother through COVID-19
In the 41 years of my life, I have never seen anything as scary as what I have witnessed over the last four weeks, in terms of people and their greed, out of control behaviour, ignorance and selfishness. Whilst we are all in the same situation of being on 'lockdown', there are many people who believe they are superior to others which seems quite sad. There are many individuals who feel that they are untouchable and certain rules do not apply to them, which is undoubtedly having a bad impact on the rest of the world.
There have been job roles put under pressure, uncertainty regarding pay, people losing their jobs, businesses having to close, shortly after only starting. There have been shortages of beds in hospitals, a lack of equipment due to a lack of funding and some people have given up hope.
Rather than supporting each other, people have felt alone and others have shown their true colours by actually neglecting the people that need most support, which is the homeless, vulnerable and elderly. I cannot imagine what it would be like to not have a roof over my head during these challenging times. Imagine being in your 70's and you have turned up to a supermarket for food, to find out the shelves have been cleaned and you now have to turn back home because you were unable to get what you needed.
My heart definitely goes out to the children, who are in homes where there is no food, or even a bed to sleep on and their only safe place was school. But, most of all, I feel compassion for those women who have abusive husbands or boyfriends and have been treated like punching bags due to frustration, egos, narcissism and being under each others feet.
Whilst the majority of the world support and appreciate the Key-workers who have no choice but to go out and work, even though they are exposing themselves and their family to this deadly virus, I can only imagine what many of these men and women have felt, being a key-worker myself. As the UK was put on the three week 'lockdown', I had to continue my daily trip into work, send my son to school praying that neither of us contracted COVID-19 whilst others were safe indoors. Being a positive person, I tried to remind myself to remain positive in every aspect of my life. I made the decision to deactivate my social media accounts to stop the negativity, lies, false stories from filling my ears. You see, social media plays a big part in confusing people with the facts. So may different versions of a story have contributed to others being misled.
All we see now in the news is negativity. What happened to reporting about the good, the successful and hopeful? I certainly don't want to constantly hear about death, stabbings, rapes, COVID-19 and anything else the world wants us to focus on, to simply cover up what really is happening.
What is vital right now is, self-care, positive vibes, protection for ourselves and loved ones and survival, but survival in the sense we are still looking out for everyone else.
I have never been a situation where I have had to consider the worst outcome. I have always focused on the best outcome, but when you are faced with something so serious, the reality is that what is happening could happen to anyone. This Coronavirus (COVID-19) has no discrimination.
What has been occurring worldwide has taught me a lot about myself, the way I deal with the inevitable and coping with the fact that I am no longer in control. What will be, will be and as long as I remain positive, so will my children. Children react on what they see and if they see that we as parents cannot keep our heads above water, they will also drown. They are a reflection of our true selves.
Right now many children are scared, confused and anxious. It is extremely important that we encourage them to speak about how they feel in order to overcome any fear. For others being stuck at home, bored it can trigger attention seeking behaviour which no doubt can affect their emotions.
At this current time, children may be acting out because of boredom. If there is any learned behaviour they will use it for their own advantage to create a response from you and to get what they want for attention or satisfaction.
Children learn very quickly by experience, and to recreate any drama when bored is done without the true understanding of the upset and fear caused. This may be their only way of taking out their emotions on us as their parents because they don't have anyone else to do it to.
Many of us single mothers will need more disciplined guidance/borders put in place, but it has to be supported with love and appreciation during this difficult time. We also need to be patient, even though its hard to keep our lives balanced due to not having anyone in our homes to take over from our parenting role.
I know for a fact that I am extremely tired, but it is not my sons fault that I am doing everything alone in the home, especially as it seems my role has doubled with home schooling, working from home, cleaning, washing, cooking, when I am home.
Children will discover their ‘strengths and control,’ but they will also know how to ‘summon’ positive and negative energy. This ability needs addressing now, by teaching them to be aware of their energy and to work with what they have in a way they understand. This will introduce the concept of working positively with their energy.
I have found it extremely difficult being home day in and day out, because I am used to being so busy that my feet can't touch the ground. This has most definitely helped me in the past to overcome any anxiety or depression that has tried to surface. Remaining busy has been my saviour, so now I am finding other ways to keep myself entertained apart from motherhood. I am enjoying writing and drawing again. I have been teaching my youngest son to cook and bake. I have been using my treadmill to exercise and I have also been using this time to connect with friends and family whom I have lost contact with via messenger apps, which has brought me much closer to them.
I'm sure this time of uncertainty and fear has also made many people appreciate what they have and be grateful for the the people in their lives. Too often we take others for granted until its too late. Too late to tell friends and family that that we love them. Too late to tell them how much they meant to us. Too late to turn back the clock and show them our appreciation for everything they have done for us. Too late to actually support them and encourage them through their bad times.
It is sad that our lives have become controlled by the government, but I guess this had to done to combat what we are currently facing. I just hope in weeks and months to come, we can all look back and remember it as a bad dream.
For those who have lost loved ones it will be difficult, but with death in general, it takes time.
For those who have had to stay away from loved ones, I hope they are staying in contact through whatever means possibly.
This lockdown will most definitely put a strain on many relationships with couples who do not live together. Hopefully some good will come out of the time apart. It will be a test on their communication and trust, but it will also help those to get to know each other in a more conventional way. The long distance style. Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder and if people really love each other, they will get through this time and come out stronger than before.
I pray that through the good and bad, that our spirits are lifted and we are blessed by the higher power to keep us all safe.